By La Chona
Spring Forecast:
Hola,
mijos and hijos! Spring is in the air, flowers are blooming,
and of course, La Chona is unveiling her new spring wardrobe-just
wait 'till you get a load of my new sexy outfit! Out with the
dark colors and in with the pastels. Perfect time for all of
my mijos out there to turn over a new leaf and find a new spring
love. Con mucho cariño!
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ARIES (March 21-April 19)
It's time to loosen up...uhhh... your grip that is. You have
a tendency to be possessive, but it's time for you to forget
about controlling your man and focus on your money matters instead.
If you do, you may even be able to scrape up enough change to
make a charitable donation to La Chona's fabulous fashion fund.
And as for your man, give him some space-just use your intuition
and trust your emotions, and everything will work out for you.
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TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
You've been down on your looks lately, but trust La Chona-you
look firme! It doesn't matter if you weigh 150 lbs. or 300 lbs.
Get over your yourself, go out, and have a wild time! And when
you least expect it, two guys will be fighting for your attention.
One of them will win your heart and will be with you-romantically.
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GEMINI (May 21-June 21)
Isn't it your turn to do something special for your man? Show
him your romantic side and serve him breakfast in bed. Then take
your time and serve him the best dessert ever...and do it right!
Waking up to coffee, toast, scrambled eggs, and um...um... a
sausage...is just his kind of thang-at least it is mine. Que
lindo, que no?
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CANCER (June 22-July 22)
The sky is the limit for you, mijo, but never forget who you
are especially when you hit it big with fame and fortune. Keep
your feet on the ground and give something back to all those
little people who helped you along the way. Also, make some wise
investments and invest in stocks. Should you ever have any extra
income just lying around, then you might even consider buying
stocks in La Chona's Big Mama's Undi-Wear company! You won't
regret it!
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LEO (July 23-Aug. 23)
Grab your man's hand, whisk him away on a romantic journey-I
hear Puerto Vallarta is great this time of year-and make the
best love you've ever made under the stars. Ay dios! What a night
to remember! I can just see a ring about to land on your finger,
and I feel the scenario on the beach!
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VIRGO (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
Honey, stop trying to be the center of attention! Give others
a chance. Who knows? You might actually learn something from
being quiet. Remember that cute guy you wanted to meet so badly?
But he never said a word to you? Had you closed your mouth and
given him a chance, things might have been differently. You two
could have been-well...you know the rest! So keep it shut and
let others shine.
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LIBRA (Sept. 24-oct. 22)
Mijo, just because someone smiles at you doesn't mean he wants
to get into your pants. Maybe, he just wants a friend-and you'd
be the perfect guy! You have a very positive attitude, and everything
you say and do shows it! So take the time to let new friends
into your life, but don't alienate your best friend-he'll always
be your most-trusted comadre.
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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Be a team player! Use your mind to enhance work relations,
and your love life. If your man is feeling the blues, give him
a kiss. If your man is feeling mad, calm him down with your charm.
If your man is cheating on you, kick him out of the house! Whatever
happens, reinforce the principle of working together towards
a common goal so you and all others will understand the true
meaning of unity.
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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Stop pouring the entire bottle of cologne on yourself! La
Chona is getting dizzy! Although you may feel that you need to
"make sure" you smell wonderful, just use a dab somewhere.
If you need advice about what cologne drives a man wild, well
I hear CK1 is good! Quite frankly, I use White Diamonds from
Elizabeth Taylor!
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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
You're changing! Suddenly, you want to settle down with one
guy! Unlike the chaser in the past, you are now level-headed,
respectable, smarter, and ready to be in a serious one-on-one
relationship. Don't worry about your past, just go on AOL's M4M
Latino room and talk to some men. If the men are not responding
at all, you can always log on as the fabulous La Chona and you
will see-the men will fly to you like fleas!
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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
La Chona knows you've been watching TV a lot, but forget the
tube, and go on a picnic with your man! Take some cheese, wine
glasses, sandwiches-and even some plastic ants, and go to the
park! Get him a little tipsy, and when no one's watching, sneak
a little bit of fun! If you keep him guessing, your man will
treat you like a king, and this summer will be one to remember!
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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Ay papi! You got the looks, you got the money, and you got
all the guys-what more do you need? Well, La Chona thinks you
should use your popularity for a good cause! Befriend a lost
soul who is need of a good friend-even if it's with that so-called
"loser" who everyone makes fun of. For this level of
kindness, you will be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams. Make
a promise to yourself to make someone else feel worthy!
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Be sure to get the full
vibe!
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