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Q: Are you out to your
family?
30%---Yes, to all my family.
41%---Yes, to some of my family
29%---No
Q: If you are out to your parents,
how did they react when you first told them?
My father told me he loves me.
Mother was very distraught and sad
for me. She saw how the majority of the world treated lesbians
and QVs, and she was afraid for me. My father knows but has
never brought the subject up. It's interesting because before
he knew I was QV, my father never told me that he loved me,
but after he found out, he told me that he loved me. That was
nice to hear.
Mom couldn't believe it!
"No lo creo!" was what
came out of my mom's mouth. Followed by an "Ay dios mio!"
What can I say-she's Puerto Rican! I asked her if she wanted
me to move out (I was prepared for the worst), but she said "Que,
que? Are ju crazy? Why would you leave the house?" From
that I knew that she'd get used to it. When I asked her if she
had any suspicions (like all mothers supposedly "know"),
she said that she did not have a clue. She said that she knew
I used to sneak girls into the house, so it never crossed her
mind. I used to sneak a lot of girls in my bedroom, but now,
my boyfriends can come in anytime they want-no sneaking around.
Now that's progress!
Dad kicked me out!
My father is an old fashioned Catholic Puerto Rican
man. What do you think? He threw me out along with all my papers
that stated I was his son. He swore up and down and told me he
did not raise a "maricón." But I'm happy to
say that he has adjusted, and we now live in harmony again. My
mother always knew about her nene.
It was no big deal.
Both of my parents knew that I was QV since I was
a child. I asked them about it, and they said that it is normal,
"You are what you are in this world, and God made you that
way." Both of my parents had no problem at all about me
being QV. In fact my older brother is QV, too!
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It was funny!
It wasn't a very pretty picture. Got caught in their
bedroom! Ooops!!!
Mom went to talk to a priest.
My father was okay with it, but my
mother was ashamed and felt guilty. She consulted a Catholic
priest, and he told her it was okay.
Took some time for mom to accept.
When I first came out to my mother,
she began to cry and was really hurt. She strongly believed that
I chose to be this way and did not really understand why I would
put myself in this position. She was really hurt, and we did
not talk to each other for weeks. Later, she was more accepting
to the point that she let my boyfriend move in with me in my
house. We lived together for five months, and she was really
sweet and understanding. Now, I realize that my mother and father
love me no matter what sex I prefer to be with. I am their child,
and they are my parents-that will never change.
My mom=La chismosa!
My mom told me she already knew but not to tell anyone
else in the family. The next day, everyone knew-she wanted to
be the one to tell the "chisme."
Mom wanted me to be happy.
My mother was very supportive. She
said that she suspected I was QV, but that her primary concern
was that I be happy.
Q: If you are not out to
your family, why not?
My family's too old-fashioned.
My family seems to be "Old School
Latinos." I'm only out to my brother who is also QV. My
brother came out to my family members, but they don't want him
to come out to my mom and dad. Since we were small, they always
made sure we did manly-type stuff. They would not let us wear
any thing that looked like what a girl might wear. They would
always say, "You don't want to become like your cousin (who
happened to be QV)." Their attitude was very homophobic.
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I don't want to break the family bond.
First and foremost, I am the only
son in my family. They would never believe me. I live in a traditional
Mexican family. I am 19, and I am not ready to fly from the nest
just yet. Whenever I do fly from the nest, I will probably talk
to my mom and tell her what's going on inside me. So, I guess,
to make a long story short, I don't know where I would go if
they rejected me, even though I know they probably won't. But
why risk the bond that mi familia has?
I don't want to hurt my parents.
The only people in my family that
do not know are my parents. I am positive that my mama's heart
would be crushed if she found out one of her kids was, "uno
de esos." My father would also be devastated, but unlike
my mom, he would most likely cut me off from his life.
I'm scared of rejection.
I am not out to my parents for the
fear that they will reject me. Many times they have told me that
if I am QV, they will banish me and treat me like an outsider
to the family. I don't know what to do except stay quiet about
it. I have a boyfriend, and he treats me with much respect and
love. I don't know what to do except stay still and wait for
a better day.
I don't think they'll accept it.
I'm not out for fear of losing my
family. I don't think they will accept what I am. Also, I have
a lot of friends whose families I'm close with, and I don't want
to lose them, either. Basically, I don't want to be by myself.
So for now, I have to stay on the down low.
Fear.
Por
miedo. I know it's a stupid reason, but it's what is holding
me back.
I don't want to hurt them.
I don't want to hurt them. I know
they love me anyway, but it's the pain I don't want to put them
though, even though I think they already know. I do want to tell
my sisters because I don't think I need to hide from them.
I'm scared of their reaction.
I am not out to my parents because
I am scared of how they will react. I am sure mom knows, but
I am not positive. And dad, well, is the typical "macho
Hispanic man." Heaven forbid he have an open mind about
anything!
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