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Pregúntale A PapiDear mijos y nenes: your dear old wise Papi is grateful to be back again to give you some advice about love and life. If you have a problem or a question, write to me. I can help you out! But just remember that my advice can only go so far. After all, when it comes down to it, you're the one calling the shots!
Dear Papi, Why is it that society thinks QV people can't be Catholic? Isn't the church supposed to welcome everyone with open arms, regardless of sexual orientation? I feel that as a QV man I'm still part of the church, not against it, so when I hear church groups say they are against QV people, it hurts. Where do I fit in? Dear Catholic Boy, Church itself is very beautiful and, of course, welcomes everyone, but sometimes it is the people who practice the religion that do not really have the spirit of God in their hearts. Those people can be unnecessarily judgmental and cruel. The point is God loves everyone, and He loves you, too. God made you in His image, so how you are is just fine. If you remember that, then you don't need to worry about people's negative comments. Remember, you are one of God's creations.
Dear Papi, I'm a QV high school student, and I'm dating a girl to maintain a straight image. I know I don't love her, but I feel bad because it's not fair to be with her just because of societal pressures. Of course, I want to be myself, but I don't know where to start, and at the same time, I don't want to hurt my girlfriend, either. Dear Seeking Yourself, It's very important that you be honest with yourself so that you can be honest with other people-including your girlfriend. If you are uncomfortable telling your girlfriend you are QV, then let her know that you truly love her deeply, but the love you have for her is in a friendship way. Of course, it's painful to be in this situation, but it is better to talk to her now, than to wait until later. If you need more direction, speak to a counselor to find out the best approach for you, and once you free yourself from a dual identity, you will see that life is really a rewarding experience.
Dear Papi, I walked up to this cute guy, and we talked for a while. It turned out he wanted to spend the night with me. We messed around a bit, but the next day, he told me he was straight. I was shocked and didn't understand why he wanted to be with me sexually. What happened? Dear Confused, I think this guy might have been experimenting. Sometimes, society can be so harsh that it can make a QV or bisexual guy tell everyone he's straight. Or maybe, this guy is really straight-for the most part, and just wanted to "see what it was like." Either way, be appreciative that he told you now, rather than leading you on for a long time, and don't let it affect your self-esteem.
Dear Papi, I'm a 21-year-old QV man, and I'm having a hard time finding a boyfriend. I think I'm more mature than most people my age, and I find myself hanging out with older guys because I can relate to their maturity and thinking better. Guys my age don't appeal to me because they are usually more immature, and the older one's don't take me seriously because I'm younger. What should I do? Dear Genius, Finding someone who is at your maturity level can be a challenge. My best advice is to be patient. Dating should be a fun thing, not something you should feel pressured about. Take your time, meet guys, and soon enough you will find the right person who is as mature and intelligent as yourself. Remember that age doesn't necessarily equal a person's maturity level, so be open to guys of all ages, be they younger or older!
If you have any concerns, things on your mind, questions about relationships, comments about a break-up, or anything you need advice about, send an e-mail to him at dearpapi@qvmagazine.com. Address all letter to Dear Papi.
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