The Latino Men's Journal—with over 1,000,000 visitors!


qvAstrology
The fierce La Chicharona reveals what the stars
have in store for you!


Yo qvBoyz!
Summer is just around the corner, and you know what that means—fine shirtless papis strolling the streets! So which one of these guys will be your summer love? Well, La Chicharona is here to answer all your questions about the coming months, and believe me, it’s looking hotter than ever!

Model: Carlos

Aries ARIES (March 21-April 19)
American Idol, Star Search, All American Girl. These shows are all based on talent. And guess what? You’re the most talented guy I know! So, chulo, it’s time for you to show off that talent and prove to the world that you’ve got a voice of gold. I know it’s in you! So get a voice coach and get ready to knock the world dead. As far as I’m concerned, you’re already my idol!
Taurus TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
I forsee a real cutie entering your life! And not only will this guy be phyne as hell, he’ll also be a genuinely intelligent, spiritual, and good-hearted person. Who is it? Well, I can’t say. Just keep your eyes and options open because whether you like it or not, you’re going to feel some love in the air. !
GEMINI (May 21-June 21)
Is the state of the world disturbing you? The war in Iraq, bombs in Korea, and terrorists anywhere seem to really be stressing you out. Well, Papi, you need to get yourself away from CNN and all those other depressing news channels for a while. Also, take a day or two off from work and treat yourself to a nice relaxing day at the beach, the mountains, or a health spa. Do anything to escape reality for a while. When you come back, you’ll feel much better and a lot less stressed about life.
CANCER (June 22-July 22)
Hey papi! Now’s the time to start thinking about getting in shape for the summer months ahead. That means no McDonald’s, no Taco Bell, and no Popeye’s Chicken! Then what should you eat? Hey, go for the fish. Well, not that one, chico...you know what I mean! Try going on a seafood diet of tuna or salmon. And if you need the carbs for energy, try eating a little rice or pasta. Yup! Yup! Gotta tell you, mijo, there’s a science to losing weight—so play the game right and become the healthy papi you deserve to be.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 23)
What’s up with the economy? People are losing jobs, and gas prices are rising to an all-time high! Well then, be wise with your money. Pay off all your debts. Try carpooling to work to save gas money—or telecommute if you can. And stop spendin’ so much on cigarettes and alcohol! I know you have the urge to spend, but stop it—don’t spend when you don’t have to.
VIRGO (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
Hey chulo, why have you been so bossy and possessive with your friends lately? Just because you’re popular doesn’t mean that you own your friends. You demand their constant attention and get pissed off when they don’t do what you want. Try to be a little more accommodating to others. You have a good group of friends and there’s no need for you to try to overpower them all the time. If you give in sometimes, they’ll give in sometimes. Strike a balance with them and you’ll find there’s much less drama in your life.
LIBRA (Sept. 24-oct. 22)
You’re a bad boy who’s always getting into tons of trouble. Well, it’s time for a personality make-over! It’s time to grow up and turn your bad-ass into a nice, respectable Latino man. Tone down your strong attitude and be nicer to people. You may want to also start re-thinking your slang—particularly in your work environment Instead of saying, “Man, this is wack!” say, “I find this unacceptable.” Got it? I want you to change yourself into someone who people will take seriously.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
You never seem to be satisfied. You get a raise, but complain it’s not enough. You buy a beautiful new SUV, but you complain about the poor mileage. You even complain about the food at just about any restaurant you eat at! Stop complaining and learn to appreciate what you’ve got. It’ll make life a lot easier for you and everyone else around you.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
You’re normally the hard-working type, but something has been lacking lately. At work, you’ve been showing up late and the quality of your work hasn’t been as good as in the past. And at home, you’ve become a couch potato watching TV and playing video games all the time. In other words, you haven’t done anything useful with your time! All I can say is be useful, useless! Explore new options and get yourself back on track.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
You’re making $10 an hour and you think that’s a lot! Well, baby, the truth is you are really being underpaid. So walk into your boss’ office and tell him you deserve a raise! If he refuses, then look for another job. There are a lot of better opportunities out there for you, but if you don’t go out and look for them, they will never come your way!
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Your clothes are all wrinkled, you haven’t shaved in days, and your hair is a mess! This isn’t like you. What’s going on? You say you’re too tired? Hey, chulo, then you need to take a break and get yourself back together. After a few days of rest, you’ll be re-energized, neatly ironed, clean-shaven and with perfect hair. That’s the Papi everyone has come to know and love.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Your kindness has paid off as I see good luck coming your way! I see money—a lot of money—coming soon! And I see you falling in love and settling down with a nice man! You’ll be living the American Dream with you and your man—and a little puppy! Hold onto this, and enjoy it because you deserve it all!

 

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