Fore-Fun | February/March 1998

Pregúntale a Papi

Dear mijos y nenes: qvMagazine has invited me, your dear old Papi, to give you some advice about your love life, or whatever. If you have a problem or a question, write to me. I can help you out! But just remember that my advice can only go so far. After all, when it all comes down to it, you're the one calling the shots!

Dear Papi: I've been dating a guy for over a year, and now he wants to have sex without a condom. I'm against that, but at the same time, I don't want to hear, "Don't you trust me, anymore?" What should I do?

What you really need to do is sit down with your man and get down to the bone about any extracurricular activities he may be having. Then ask yourself, "Do I really trust him?" 'cuz baby a one night affair for him can change both your lives. Don't risk it hun-safe sex is always the key. Papi doesn't want you to be another statistic.


Dear Papi: I met someone special three months ago, and we've been dating. He recently told me he is HIV positive. I still want to be his boyfriend and be with him sexually. What should I do?

Positive, negative-love is good all around. Kid, I stand by you 100%. Remember, that you still can have sex with him, but before you do that, consult with a counselor at your local QV and lesbian center about having safe sex with an HIV positive individual.


Dear Papi: I met a cute guy the other night, and we talked for only a minute. I wanted to get his phone number, but I was too afraid to ask. How can I be more direct?

I'm not sure what you mean by direct. If you really want to be direct just say, "Hey baby!! You're cute!! Can I have your number?" Now that's the most direct you can get. But seriously, you need to keep it on the downlow when you first meet a guy. You need to talk to him for more than a minute. Stay calm and collected and then ask for his number. Now, when you get his number, don't walk away on cloud nine screaming like a queen, "I got his number! I got his number!!" Slowly walk away, then when you get home, scream as loud as you want! One last tip, remember the rule-don't call him right away, give it one day.


Dear Papi: Why do I feel so funny giving my boyfriend flowers? Is there anything wrong with feeling the way I do?

Yo kid!!! Nothing's wrong with feeling funny about that. Your mind's been trained that the girl always receives the flowers, but I bet deep down inside you would really be happy if you were the one receiving them. When it happens more and more, you'll be more comfortable with it. But hey! If you don't want the flowers then send 'em to me!!


Dear Papi: I'm bisexual, and my boyfriend is QV. He is asking me to do sexual things to him that I would only do if I had a girlfriend. I feel uncomfortable thinking about doing those things to him, but how can I satisfy his particular sexual needs, yet not offend him?

Well baby, you're on your own with this one. All I can say is talk to him and meet halfway. Or maybe try it out-you'll never know if you like it until you try it.


If you have any concerns, things on your mind, questions about relationships, comments about a break-up, or anything you need advice about, send a letter to Dear Papi at


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