DJ's Kitchen | February/March 1998

DJ's Kitchen


We Can All Breathe A Little Easier
by DAX

QV DeodorantThat damned "no smoking" law passed! Then again, it may not be such a bad "damned" law after all-it could be a good thing, especially for our health, who knows? I didn't believe it was for real until the first Friday after New Year's. I decided to go to Circus (the big Latino club in Los Angeles) and simply have some fun. Because I don't smoke, I had completely forgotten about the new no smoking law that had gone into effect everywhere in LA. But the second I stepped into the club, I realized that there was something different about the atmosphere-there was no smell of tobacco. A few people were smoking, but no one made a big deal about it. Regardless, it did feel easier to breathe. It was odd, different, and not necessarily bad-at least until we strolled through the club.

If you have been to Circus, you know that it has four different sections, Tijuana (Spanish music), the '80s room (upstairs), house (main room) and baby Catch One (the hip hop section). As I strolled through the house section, I realized the so-called benefits of cigarette smoking and the biggest reason why it helped the clubs. Somebody (and I plead the 5th when it comes to any names, but actually, I didn't know the person, anyway) really stunk-I mean sovacos (arm pits) from hell. You'd figure if you were going to a club and you knew you were going to dance, that you'd be "SURE" about yourself. I almost felt like telling that person that they reeked, but I wasn't in the mood to get my ass kicked!

Sure, the new smoking ban in the clubs may have allowed us to avoid second-hand smoke, but now we have the problem of first-hand sovacos. So you figure, if people are going to go to the club without wearing deodorant, I sure as hell won't be breathing any easier.

Hey, just had a thought! If you're interested in making some money $$$$ on this new law, you could cash in by starting a deodorant dispenser business in clubs-in the restrooms!

10 Questions to Determine If You Are A CLUB-O-HOLIC!

By Richard Marques

Have you ever asked yourself, "Gee, do I frequent the clubs more than I'm willing to admit? Am I turning into a CLUB-O-HOLIC?" Well, for my brothers out there wondering if they might be falling into this category, here are a few helpful questions which may help you in making a correct diagnosis. Are you ready? Here we go!

  1. Does the security guard/bouncer ask for everybody else's ID EXCEPT for yours? It's not because you're so special - it's simply because he's seen your face week after week for the past three years!
  2. Do you have your club attire laid out and ready to go five days in advance? You wouldn't want to waste valuable club time ironing those threads!
  3. Are you almost in tears because you forgot your Circus or Arena card at home and won't be getting the $3 discount? Remember, you could have bought a beer with that extra money!
  4. Do you let little things like, say, earthquakes or torrential rains stand in your way from a good night of clubbing? Put that umbrella to some use!
  5. When the DJ announces the last call, do you find yourself making a mad dash to the bar for a few more Coronas? Don't forget to get plenty of lime and salt!
  6. Do you find yourself saying, "Hey, how ya doing?" to more than half the population of the club? Face it - you're a popular guy!
  7. Do you find yourself hanging around after the club lets out in hopes of meeting that person you've been wanting to meet for the past two months? Better make your move before somebody else does!
  8. Do the employees at Del Taco and Greenwich Village know you on a first name basis? They've probably fed you more times than your mom has!
  9. Do you work yourself into a frenzy the minute you hear the first few notes of "Make the World Go Round" by Sandy B.? After a year, that song is still going strong!
  10. Do you find yourself going to work half-buzzed because you just finished clubbing two hours before that? And are you going to stay home that same night to get some rest? HECK NO!

So there you have it! If you answered "yes" to fewer than half the questions, there's hope for you. If you answered "yes" to more than half or all questions given, CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE A CLUB-O-HOLIC! Don't worry though - as the music group Olive says, "YOU'RE NOT ALONE!"

There's more "DJ's Kitchen" in the print version of qvMagazine....

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