The Latino Men's Journal—with over 1,000,000 visitors!


DEAR PAPI
THE PAPI IS IN!

Haven’t you ever wished relationships weren’t so complicated? I mean, wouldn’t it be nice to find the right guy, the first time, then fall in love and have everything turn out right? Well, life isn’t quite that simple. But it’s all about learning and growing, and believe me, with relationships, you certainly learn and grow! So whatever is happening to you in your life right now, let me know. E-mail me at DearPapi@qvMagazine.com

 

Dear Papi,
I’m a 25 year old Latino male in a two year relationship. When I met my partner, I was 60 pounds heavier and not looking too good. Eventually, the weight came off, and it turned out I’m a pretty good looking guy! I’ve even been asked to model. It’s all good for me. I’ve found a new me...a healthy sexy Latino, and I’m getting a lot of attention from other guys. On several occasions, I’ve cheated on my man, and I don’t know what to do. I care very much for him, and I don't want to hurt him. Of course, I respect him for being there for me before the weight loss, but now I’m beginning to live a fast and exciting new lifestyle. What should I do? Please advise.

Dear Sexy Latino,
Of course, you have a right to enjoy your life by being more good-looking than ever, but you shouldn’t cheat on your partner...that’s not fair to him. It would have been better, as difficult as this may seem, to have ended the relationship with your partner than to have cheated on him. What you can do now is evaluate your options. What do you want? Do you want your current relationship or do you want to explore what’s out there? You should decide on one or the other. If your heart is telling you to explore, then consider moving on. But if your heart is telling you that you have a good man right now, then don’t leave. But whatever you do, don’t live a life of lie. Be honest with yourself...and be honest with the man you are seeing.

 

Dear Papi,
I’m a straight girl and I just found out that my boyfriend is bisexual. I found a porno with only men on it, and I confronted him about it. He told me it’s his video and that he has been trying to figure out if he really likes guys. He seems confused, and I don’t know what to do. He says he has never cheated on me, which I believe, but I don't think I can be with him now if he really is a bisexual. I need some advice.

Dear Straight Girl,
Just because your boyfriend revealed to you that he’s bisexual, he really hasn’t done anything wrong, and you shouldn’t end the relationship based on that! Now if you’re concerned that he’s going to cheat on you with another guy, then remember it’s the factor of cheating that’s the problem here—not the sexual orientation. It doesn’t matter if he’s straight or bisexual, if he’s going to be with you, then he should have no interest in being with another person. So based on what you have told me, since he hasn’t cheated on you, there’s no need to break up, but, of course, the minute he crosses the line, then consider moving on! Good luck, mija!

 

Dear Papi,
I have read most of your responses to your mijos. A lot of the advice you’ve given them has helped me become more comfortable with who I am. For me, I’m in between the stages of being not comfortable and being comfortable about being QV. These are steps I’m taking one day at a time. Again, thanks for your advice and support to the people out there!

Dear Reader,
Thank you for your comments. I appreciate it. I always say the purpose of my column is to build independence, encourage strength, and to simply let people know, that yes, you can be QV, Latino, and, of course, live a productive life that’s fulfilling. So feel proud of who you are and be comfortable with yourself! Remember being QV is not a choice. But even though it’s not a choice, it’s probably one of the best things in your life! Why? Because it’s a connection to another human being. You still get to love. You still get to make love. You still get to experience some of the best feelings you’ll ever have! And there’s no substitute for that! Good luck, mijo!

 

Dear Papi,
I am a teacher. I never saw myself able to become interested in one of my students, especially a teen student. I know the law and the professional ethics. However, recently one 17 year old has been flirting with me, and I’ve only been nice, but I find myself intrigued and somewhat curious. It’s hard because I know what I have to do—or not do. However, I still find myself fantasizing. —Crazy Lately

Dear Crazy Lately,
You will be tempted from other people including your own students, but definitely, in this case, obey the law! Do not let a little bit of affection get you into a lot—and I mean, a lot of trouble. Even if the student was 18 years old—and of legal age, I would suggest you maintain your professional ethics and still not get involved with him. In essence, I’d rather you be known as a good teacher who’s professional, smart, fun, caring, and helpful—as opposed to one who “makes out” with his students. If anything, there’s plenty of men outside of your professional life so why jeopardize your career for a bit of fun. It’s not worth the journey, and it’s a waste of your time.

 

 

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