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THE PAPI IS IN! Relationships are an intricate part of life, but why are they so complicated? Sometimes, you meet a really fine guy, who, unfortunately, turns out to be a real jerk. And other times, you meet an average looking guy, who’ll turn out to be pretty cool. So whatever is happening to you, let me know. E-mail me at


Dear Papi,
I’m bisexual and I’m seeing this girl. She knows about me. She’s actually the first female that I have ever been with, and I like being with her, but at times, I feel she cannot give me what I really want—which is a man. She keeps asking me which road I want to take, and she makes it seems as though she doesn’t want to stand in my way of getting what I really want. I really love her, and I feel as though I have some commitment to her, but what should I do? I really need some help with this, please!

Dear Mijo,
If you say you have a commitment with her, then there’s your answer. Be with her and only her. Remember regardless if you are straight, QV or bisexual, your commitment is to one person, and if it’s to her, then only be with her. On the other side, if you strongly feel she can not give you what you want, that is a man, then gently tell your girlfriend now. Of course, it’s not fair to lead her on if she’s not what’s in your heart. Be true to yourself and choose a monogamous relationship with either a girl or guy.


Dear Papi,
Help! I am in love with my best friend. He claims to be straight, but I don’t think he is because we’ve had sex before. I know he considers me like a brother, but how can I overcome the feelings I have for him? I’ve tried to stay away from him so my feelings can go away, but in doing that, it’s affected our friendship. Do you think he is QV, or is it my way of only seeing what I want to see. I really need help. —Lost in Love

Dear Lost in Love,
The best solution is to talk to your best friend. Be open with him and let him know about several things: the times you’ve been intimate with him before and that you might have feelings for him. Since you’ve been intimate with him, this talk shouldn’t be anything shocking to him. But be prepared for his response. He might tell you he’s flattered, but that he just wants to be friends. Whatever he says, respect his decision. On your side, you may have to decide now whether you still want to be friends or even hang around him. Of course, to be around a guy you like, but who doesn’t like you back might be painful and wouldn’t be fair for you. I’d rather see you in an atmosphere where the guy loves you, not as friends, but as boyfriends, and where you two can share a productive relationship.


Dear Papi,
I have a best friend who most guys see as drop dead gorgeous. Every time we go to a club, guys stare at him and try to talk to him. What bothers me is when I introduce him to other friends and they start treating him better than they treat me. I’ve been dealing with this for six years, and it is really starting to get to me. People go out of their way to help him with his career when they know we are both in the same business. I just don’t think this is fair. I am really starting to have low self-esteem. Can you please help? —Over Shadowed

Dear Over Shadowed,
Just remember you are your own person, and you have to control your emotions. In your case, you got to not let your friend’s looks or even how people treat him affect how you see yourself. Looks are superficial. What matters here is what’s inside your mind. Use your mind as a weapon, especially to get ahead in life.How? By reading books, empowering yourself, and becoming a better thinker. Just remember in old age, nobody will have looks and all they will have is their mind. So develop it now and be ahead in the future. The goal is to take charge of your life, develop great confidence, high self-esteem, and let nobody tell yo how you should feel. You have to control your own emotions, not other people.


Dear Papi,
I’m an 18-year Latino male. About a month ago, I met an older guy through work. He is 26, and I really dig him. He’s smart, funny cute, and everything I’ve been looking for in a guy. But ever since we started dating, we haven’t set our relationship clear. I want to tell him that it would be nice to date exclusively, but I’m afraid of what he’ll say. Since I met him, I haven’t seen anyone else. I don’t know if he has. I was just wondering if it’s too soon to tell him that I like him, and that I want to take the next step in our relationship, which is being boyfriends. What should I do? —Confused Latino

Dear Confused Latino,
You owe it to yourself to have an open communication with the guy you are dating so make it a point to talk to him. Ask him how he feels about you and about being with you as your boyfriend. Of course, if he’s not ready to settle down, at least, you will know it now, and you will allow yourself the opportunity to do several things—you can still be with him and wait for him until he’s ready, if so, or move on and find someone else. But just remember, it’s only been a month since you two have been together so it’s early in the game. In any case, continue dating him, but ask him where he thinks he sees the relationship going. In other words, set your relationship clear.

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