THE PAPI IS IN!
Relationships are an intricate part of life, but why are they so complicated?
Sometimes, youll meet a really fine guy, wholl, unfortunately,
turn out to be such a jerk. And other times, youll meet an ugly
guy, wholl, surprisingly, turn out to be pretty cool. So whatever
is happening to you, let me know. E-mail me at DearPapi@qvMagazine.com
Ive been dating this great guy for three months now. He blows
away every other guy I have ever been with. My situation is that hes
never had sex before! At times, I can tell he feels awkward whenever
I try to get intimate with himso lately, I havent pressured
him in any way. On one side, I dont want him to think that Im
not interested in him, yet on the other side, I dont want to push
him into anything and scare him away. Can you give me some advice? Too
Close For Comfort
Dear Too Close For
First of all, what you need to do is talk to your man. Find out what
he thinks about the idea of being intimate with you. If he feels awkward
about intimacy, it might be because he doesnt know what to do
sexually. Or it could be that he might feel too self-conscious about
his bodyor simply because hes not ready to be intimate.
In any case, just listen to him with an open mind and allow him to pour
out his heart. And one more thing, just remember to let him know that
no matter what he says, you will still be there for him. Good luck!
Something very disturbing is happening to me at my job. My plant manager
is always saying things to me that make me think he is coming on to
me. For example, he once told me that I should be a stripper and if
I could do some dances for him. Today, he came in the office. It was
cold outside and he stood next to heater and said something like, I
love getting my buns warm. Dont you like your buns warm?
Then he paused for a long time and waited to hear what I had to say.
Hes been saying things like this to me for a long time now. I
understand that he has a wife and kids so I will never go there because
thats wrong to me. What should I do? Worker
It seems that what your manager is doing to you might be considered
sexual harassment. If so, you have several choices here. You can either
take him to court, try to talk to him, or find another job. If you decide
to pursue a case, then document all the incidentsincluding the
recent ones. If you decide not to take legal action, then let him know
that you feel uneasy whenever he breaks out of the working mode
and says little comments here and therelike how you should be
a stripper or if you like to keep your buns warm. Of course, hell
say something like, I didnt mean anything from that. I was
just playing around. But if you say something like this to him,
youll, at least, be voicing your opinion and letting him know
you are not interested in what hes doing to you. Whatever you
decide to do, just remember that you have every right not to put yourself
in an environment like that, especially one that could be considered
sexual harassment, thus, illegal. If worst comes to worst, then consider
finding another job. Good luck, mijo!
Im a 32-year old bisexual Puerto Rican man living in Washington,
D.C. For the last five years, Ive been intimately involved with
a co-worker, who also purports to be bisexual. My dilemma is this: my
relationship with this man has turned me from a very confident, high
self-esteem individual into a self-loathing, closet-door-slamming psycho.
Because this man claims to be bisexual and we dont have an actual
commitment, Im constantly feeling insecure and wondering when
he will do something outside of our situationand cheat
on me. In the past, weve tried breaking up several times, but
ended up together and more madly involved. What should I do Papi? Loving
Dear Loving My Morenito,
I definitely can understand how a lack of commitment with your man can
make you feel insecure. However, Im trying to understand how your
mans bisexuality is also making you feel insecure. If anything,
just remember that youre bisexual, too. What matters here is the
commitment. If youre feeling insecure because you dont have
an actual commitment, then ask him for one. If hes willing to
commit to you, that means hes willing to be with you and give
up everyone else. If hes not willing to commit, then reconsider
the relationship. Youve been with him for five years, and its
about time you find out what the deal isand where you stand in
his life. Good luck!