Chill Out, Dad...Being QV Ain’t No Big Deal!

DADS CAN SOMETIMES be hard to please in general! And when you’re QV...whew! Can you imagine having a conversation with him about that? Well, in our latest qvSurvey, you did, so to speak! Given the chance, here’s what YOU would want to tell your father about what it means to be a homosexual. So come on dads, loosen up—and listen to what your QV sons have to tell you!

“Well, dad, just to let you know, QV people have the same problems as straight people. The only thing is that we have a stigma over our heads like a grand piano waiting to land on us.”
—35 years old, Long Beach, CA

“Dad, to me, being QV is like being male or Chicano—or anything else that makes me who I am. It just is. It’s nothing I put on, but rather a component of my being. It’s who I am!”
—36 years old, Stockton, CA

“Papi, being QV is something I have no control over. I was born this way and just like my hair is black and my eyes are brown, it is a part of my body, spirit, and mind. I am proud of who I am.”
—21 years old, Oakland, CA

“Dad, I just want you to know that being QV has really allowed me to be truly happy and to live my life without deceit.”
—31 years old, Dallas, TX

“It’s not a choice, dad, yet it can, still, be a rich and fulfilling experience!”
—40 years old, Norwalk, CT

“Dad, I have tried to live up to your expectations. Sorry, if I failed you. I didn’t choose to be QV. You know I’ve always looked up to you and wanted to be like you, but this is who I am. I love you, dad, and always have—you mean the world to me!”
—33 years old, Pomona, CA

“Dad, I am still the son you held in your arms when I was born. I am no different than before.”
—35 years old, Oakland, CA

“Dad, being QV means that I’m certain about the way I feel, and it isn't a disease or a handicap. It’s rather my true self telling me who I am.”
—21 years old, San Pedro, CA

“Hey, dad, I just want you to know that there is nothing wrong with me being QV. You need to look at the good things I’ve accomplished and not at my sexual orientation.”
—26 years old, Dallas, TX

“Dad, you don’t know how happy I am that I can finally be me and not have to lead a double life anymore! But most of all, thanks for all the support and love. I love you!”
—37 years old, East LA, CA

“Dad, I hope that you don’t think that I am a disappointment because I am QV. Also, I don’t want you to blame yourself for anything that you did or didn’t do to make me QV. I am QV because I am.”
—43 years old, Washington, DC

“Dad, being QV is really not different from being straight. I’m still am the same person you know and love. The only difference is that my heart belongs to a man.”
—28 years old, San Diego, CA

“Dad, I think you still wonder, from time to time, if it was something you did that contributed to me being QV (like us not spending enough time together, or you not being at home often enough, etc). I know it’s one of the most difficult things for you to accept, but dad, our relationship should not be based on my sexual orientation.”
—44 years old, New York, NY

“Dad, being QV is not about sex, makeup, and femininity! We are the same as everyone else—we have a heart, too.”
—19 years old, Diamond Bar, CA

“Dad, being QV doesn’t mean having a lack of masculinity. I am still a man. The difference is that my QV soul allows me to express the feminine side that all men have. I’ve seen my brothers with their buddies, and I’ve seen the obvious affection and love they have for each other, but they hide it because it scares them. Straight men love their buddies for a lot of the same reasons women love men. But they’re afraid that’ll make them QV. Well, dad, I am QV. And that means that I love men both ways. I love them the way you love your buddies and the way mom loves you.”
—28 years old, San Francisco, CA

“Papi, I’m still your son and I love you. I’m still a man, and I can make my own decisions. I am no different from any other person.”
—21 years old, Covina, CA

“Papi, I just happen to like boys instead of girls, but I am still the same fine young man that you raised. I just wish you would take the time to realize that being QV also means that I’m still human and that I need my family just as much as you did when you were young!”
—24 years old, Dallas, TX

“Thanks, dad, for being such a great father, for loving me for who I am.”
—40 years old, Studio City, CA

“Thanks dad for not making me feel any less of a son to you. Your love and support is key in my life, and I will always love you and respect you! You’re my best friend.”
—30 years old, Pico Rivera, CA