qv22 Astrolo-V

Hey Chulos!

Brrrr! It's starting to get nippy out there. The leaves are falling, the sky is turning to an autumn red, and La Chicharona is preparing to keep herself warm during the night. I just need one fine chulo-like the one in the picture to the left-to be there...to hold me...and to keep me warm! About you? Here's what I see for you and your future, and don't worry-it's all goooooood!


Aries ARIES (March 21-April 19)
You have "fuego" written all over your body. Your personality and everything about you is hot! You got the smile, the looks, and the guys! Not to mention, you'll be shining brighter than your very own La Chicharona so enjoy it while it lasts! Just remember to be down-to-earth, keep it real, and don't trip over your own ego!
Taurus TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Another hang up! Do a *69 and find out who's been calling you! It's probably the man of your dreams, but he's too scared or shy to talk to you! While it's your animal magnetism that drives men to you, it's your personality that drives them away-so loosen up! Don't answer the phone like you're mad...try smiling on the line and get people to open up to you!
GEMINI (May 21-June 21)
Baby, stop using profanities! It's not impressive! I gotta say that the way you are talking now is actually costing you a promotion at work! So change your words! Instead of saying sh*t, say shoot. Instead of f*ck, say fudge! If you don't, your career will suffer and people will continue to treat you like sh*t-I mean shoot!
CANCER (June 22-July 22)
Why did you act all grossed out when you saw those two guys kiss in "American Pie II?" You're QV, for heaven's sake! Sure, you saw it with your straight friends, but you should always be proud of who you are and stand up for your QV familia!
LEO (July 23-Aug. 23)
Lonely? Forget about being alone! Call your ex and say hi. It doesn't mean you want to get back together. It just means that you want to talk and maybe even apologize for all the bad things you did to him. Get that guilt off your chest because the burden is showing on your face. And if you don't think you have the strength to do it, just remember you're a Leo, and "Grrrr!" says the Leo!
VIRGO (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
Slap yourself silly and get your head out of the clouds because you've been neglecting your finances! Why do you blow every paycheck on your new man? Don't you know that no matter how much you spend on him, he'll still think you're bootylicious! So spend no more, and ask him to treat you out-for once!
LIBRA (Sept. 24-oct. 22)
It's time to slip on your A|X suit and put your best foot forward. You've got the brains and looks, but your clothes have gotta go! Instead of your usual polyesters from K-mart or Sears, try a nice suit from Macys or Saks 5th. Don't you know you're almost there and with the right clothes, voila! Perfecto! I know image isn't everything, but try telling that to the corporate world!
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
You are currently going through some difficult times with relationships! So for now, forget boyfriends and try to focus on family. Call them and remind them how much you love them, and how you can't wait to see them for the holidays! You'll feel better knowing that you've reached out to the ones who really care about you!
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Hmm, are you finding it hard to choose between that lawyer and that architect you've been dating? Well, be decisive and make a choice! It's not fair to hang on to both-just because they're career-oriented and rich! So quit playing games and pick the one who will buy you the most-I mean, the one you're really in love with-the most!
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
What's up with all of this "take charge" mentality? I know you think you're being assertive, but you're being a real bitch! If you want to be a leader, then you must have your followers willfully follow you, instead of you being a boss and you telling them what to do all the time! So enroll in school, take a communication class, and learn to be assertive the right way! You go boy!
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
It's nice to see you playing football, working on your car, and going hunting! But are you sure this is you? Or are you doing all of this just to please your man! If it's not in your heart, then don't go with the flow! If you feel like sitting on the sidelines, then do it! Don't sacrifice who you are for anyone-not even for your man!
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Romance is surrounding you! So go to the store and buy your man some flowers! Come home, light the fireplace, pour some wine, and get ready to surprise him! Afterwards, make some love while the flames go up...and feel what it feels like to be in love! Que rico! Enjoy these nights and treat your man-at least, for this once-like a king!

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