qv21 Dear Papi

The qvPapi Is In!
DATING CAN BE TOUGH. The process of finding Mr. Right can sometimes take you on a roller coaster ride-a ride that you would rather avoid so if boy troubles are getting you down, then talk to me. E-mail me at DearPapi@qvMagazine.com

Dear Papi,
There's this older guy I met, and I think he is really cute. Well, not too long ago, I found out he has a boyfriend. I asked him about this guy, and he said it was nothing and that he'd leave him for me. Now I don't know what to do or if I should trust him. If he were to leave that guy so easily, what would make me think he wouldn't do the same to me? I am so confused. Can you give me some advice? -Confused Boricua

Dear Confused Boricua,
I have to question why this guy is interested in dating you when he already has a boyfriend! To me, that shows a lack of respect for you and the other guy. You have to ask yourself what would have happened had you never found out about the other guy! Would he have held onto both of you? Now that you found out, it's as if he'll say anything, including, "I'll leave him" just to keep you. But be smart! If this is the way he's treating his current boyfriend, then you can almost be certain that he'll do the same to you! Move on, mijo, and find a new man. In any case, it's a good thing you found out what kind of a guy he is in the early stages of your relationship because now, it shouldn't be difficult to leave that guy. Good luck, mijo


Dear Papi,
I am a 25 year old Puerto Rican male who is educated, employed, and I like the finer things in life. However, I can not seem to find a Latino guy, who's on my same level. Many of the Latino guys I run into barely have jobs, live at home nine times out of ten, and are still in the closet. Yes, I find those barrios boys cute and drop dead gorgeous, but there's nothing upstairs in their heads. What should I do? -PR Male

Dear PR Male,
There are plenty of Latino guys who are educated, employed and who enjoy the finer things in life. What you have to do is position yourself at a place where you think you might find guys like them! If you want an educated man, then find a guy at a university. If you want a professional man, then find a man at a professional organization! Of course, it's a game of chance as you will still have to figure out if the guy is QV or not. Now if you position yourself at a QV function, it's still a game of chance as you will still have to figure out if the guy is a professional, educated, etc. So my advice is to continue taking those chances because those men are out there! Also, what you might want to do is create an organization designed for the people you are looking for and see what happens. In other words, create a professional Latino organization where you could meet other professionals. This might be something that a lot of other people have wanted to see, and if you do it, not only could it lead you to a pool of qualified men, but, perhaps, to a man of your liking...and that would be worth it!


Dear Papi,
I was dating this guy for two months while I was in school in New York, but I had to move back home to Baltimore because of a family emergency. Now that some time has passed, I'm encouraging this guy to move to Baltimore with me, especially since he just graduated, has a degree, and is having some family problems in New York. Even though I'm ensuring him that I will take care of him, he keeps telling me that he's scared to do so. What should I do? -Mike

Dear Mike,
It's always a scary thing to leave something you know for the unknown. In this case, it seems as if this guy is scared to leave everything he has established in New York. After all, that's where he was going to school and that's where his family still lives. To leave all of this behind, especially for a guy he has only dated for two months...is a little too soon. I know you don't want to hear this but try not to "pressure" him into leaving New York-and so quickly, too. If you really feel that strongly for him, then make the first move and move back to New York, where you first met him!


Dear Papi,
I'm 19 years old, and I recently left my old job for a new one. While I was at my old job, I was working with this cute guy for a while. We didn't really talk that much until the last two weeks. Now I like him very much and want to throw some moves on him, but I am too scared. I was wondering if you had any suggestions on how I can ask him out, or at least, let him know what's up with me...without scaring him away. -Lonely&NLov

Dear Lonely&NLove,
The only way to let him know what's up with you is to come out! If it helps any, it should be a little easier to do so now that you are not working with him. What you can do is start slowly and test the waters. You could, perhaps, call him on the phone, talk to him, then bring up the subject of QV people. Ask him how he would feel if one of his best friends came out to him. See how he would react. And if everything was favorable, then move on to the next step and slowly let him know about yourself. One good thing about doing it over the phone is that if at any time, he reacts negatively, then the worse that could happen is that he would just hang up on you! No matter what you choose to do, just be safe in doing so! Good luck!

Write to Dear Papi! Send an e-mail to dearpapi@qvmagazine.com. Please address all letters to Dear Papi.

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