Hola Papis! I'm getting ready to go out on a date! But you know what, lately, my men have been standing me up for some strange reason. Probably because when I get PMS, I treat my men like crap! But no matter how I feel, La Chicharona will always be here for you...to tell you what's in the starry skies.

	ARIES (March 21-April 19) Control yourself! How can you think about going out with your best friend's ex? I know they broke up months ago, but that doesn't mean you should betray your friendship and end up with the guy! Boyfriends come and go, but a true friendship lasts a lifetime so control your animal instincts and show your friend what it means to have you as a friend-not a backstabber!
	TAURUS (April 20-May 20) One penny! Two pennies! Three pennies! Stop counting your coins! That's such a waste of time. Instead, think big and start counting dollars! If you think big, that's what you will become! So get on the right track to success and become a chulo everyone can be proud of!
	GEMINI (May 21-June 21) Don't be so shallow! When you're at a club and you see your ex from a distance, why do you suddenly liven up, laugh a lot, and then start flirting with one of your friends. It's as if you want your ex to think you're having such a blast, and that you have no regrets about dumping his ass! But that's not how you feel inside! Chico, when he's not around, you know you miss him. So let him know!
	CANCER (June 22-July 22) Damn! Your boyfriend caught you looking at another guy at the gym, and he is mad! But you couldn't help it! He was a fine Latino guy, and if your eyes could talk, you would have slept with him by now...so what should you do? Break up with your jealous partner, and go for that guy, or at least, see what it's like to be free! Don't let Big Brother control your every move! Get rid of him and take control of your life. In the end, you'll feel, for once, like an independent woman-I mean man!
	LEO (July 23-Aug. 23) Hmm...you've been a bit angry these last couple of days. Is it that time of the month again? If so, then get over yourself because you have nothing to be mad about. You've got a good job, a nice car, a great boyfriend, a good body, and a healthy mind! Damn, stop being a bitch!
	VIRGO (Aug. 24-Sept. 23) Hey chulo, when you do a good job and some gives you a compliment, take it! You deserve it! The excellent job you've done in making people feel good is something you should feel proud of! It's something that will push you to the top of your career...so go for the gusto, keep climbing that ladder, and keep that special vibe alive 'n kicking!
	LIBRA (Sept. 24-oct. 22) You've been a loud flamer these days so shut up and listen to what others have to say! Pay attention to their words because you have a way of twisting them around and creating a new story! If a friend says, "Let's go get something to eat!" he didn't say, "I'm paying for it, too."
	SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Get out of the house now! Go see a movie, or do something else! And remember...NOT BY YOURSELF! You owe it to yourself to meet people and make some friends! Thus, get out of the cave and starting smelling the roses! Believe me, you'll be happier when you're back out in civilization!
	SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Baby, even though your personal life is going great, don't neglect your professional life! Remember, work is 9 to 5, then afterwards it's time to play! Got it? I know this work schedule is new to you, but you owe, you owe, so off to work you must go! So apply yourself wholeheartedly to your career because you have everything it takes to be a success...a Latino Bill Gates!
	CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Hey buddy, your man is not good enough for you so dump his ass! He's a liar, a player, someone who doesn't know how to treat a man, etc. Ohh wait! That's you! I got the words mixed up! So then-what the HELL is up with you? Change your behavior and treat your man right! He's been there for you, and it's sad to see that you're not there for him! So do something nice for a change and give him some luv.
	AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) So you've been invited to one of your friend's QV weddings! Well, get your tux ready and go to the ceremony! It will be nice to see you there! Maybe the wedding could teach you a thing or two. You know, you being someone who's been around, it'd be nice to see you finally learn the meaning of monogamy!
	PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) How many times do I have to tell you not to get involved with a co-worker. Sure, he's cute, has a fade, moustache, goatee, dresses nicely...and looks sooooo fine, especially with a suit and tie on, but he's your boss and it's not worth it! Just ask yourself what's going to happen if you two break up? You'll be kissing his ass-and your job-goodbye!