El Hijo de la Reina Conocida
The image of a good
son shattered by a revelation, but healed with time.
by Omar Ortega
 I got out of bed
this morning, went into the restroom, looked into the mirror,
and asked myself, "Who do I see?" Apart from my physical
appearance and the well-established personality I have, I stared
at my other identity. The principle role I play in this demanding
life.
I am Juan Omar, son of Sonia Margarita, a well-known writer
who was crowned Miss Puerto Rico when she was 17 years old. She
made numerous appearances on Channel 34 dancing to El Ritmo Caribeno
de la Salsa, and to Las Cumbias. She later formed a family, and
shortly after, I came into this world.
Even before I learned to walk, my mother taught me to be on
my best behavior. When I was 5 years old, Mami took me to a festival
where she and I sang a duet of a popular Spanish song. I remember
not being nervous and very relieved that I was able to stay on
key throughout the entire song. I was pleased that I didn't let
my mother down. By age 9, I had developed an interest in acting
and modeling, and I was participating in a fashion show. As I
walked down the platform, I gave out a great big smile as I felt
the audience's acceptance of me. I was very pleased that I had
been able to give my best impression, and now it was La Reina's
son who was being recognized.
In 1990, my mother became a contributing writer for El Aviso
and El Aguila magazine. She had her own weekly column entitled,
"Mujer a Mujer" in which she wrote about issues concerning
women. As a result, she was often invited to many events as a
special guest. She received awards for her successful column,
which was creating a great deal of impact. I would show enthusiasm
for my mother's triumphs, but inside I felt extremely bitter.
While all this grand success was happening to her, I was in
junior high and being outted by my classmates on a daily basis.
To avoid being teased, I would skip school and not go back for
weeks. I hid my progress reports so my mother wouldn't be suspicious.
I wanted to maintain my image of being a good son. Little did
I know things were only going to get worse.
When I turned 14, I developed my own interest in writing and
wrote my first fiction novel. But peer pressure at school was
not getting any better and the communication between me and my
mother was far less than minimal. It got to the point where the
pain I was going through would show on my face. Arguments would
go on constantly, and it was during one of these arguments where
it came to the point where I came out to my mom. I could see
in her eyes that she felt I had stabbed her in the back with
a dagger. As bad as the situation was, that was not my intention.
Throughout that time, I kept writing. I would write about
what my good dreams were advising me. I maintained a thought
that this situation would not last forever. I knew how much Mami
loved me and how close of a relationship we had.
It was shortly after I graduated high school that I noticed
a change in my relationship with Mami. We would start having
conversations about how each of us was feeling. In one of our
last conversations we had on the subject, we finally put an end
to the bad situation by saying "I love you" to one
another.
Today, my mother and I have a healthy relationship and are
closer than ever. I don't know what I would do without her and
the advise she constantly gives me. Recently, Mami gave me a
great gift: she gave me her blessing and support on my success
as a writer.
My advice to all who read this, and who are going through
similar situations, is that it is unpredictable to know what
parents will feel when they find out about their son's sexuality.
But regardless of who they are, or what they do, parents will
eventually realize they have a son that they have loved since
the day he was born.
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