Hola Papis! It's time for me to thaw out like a frozen chicken and show my legs during this time of the season! Of course, it might not have that nice tannish color or that firm sexy look, but bitch, I'm working on it! Anyway, check out my man in the picture! He's really sexy and has such a great personality! And those eyes and lips! Ayyy papi! But hey, I should be reading you your stars so let me get back on track. Here's what I see for you!

	ARIES (March 21-April 19) Come on chulo...just run one more mile! Remember when you started and you ran only half a mile a day? Well, now look, you're up to 10 miles and that's something to celebrate! You've got it in you to break barriers and reach new grounds so just like in bed, keep saying, "I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!"
	TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Feel like you're overworked and underpaid? Well, what this tells me is that you need to buy a newspaper, look in the classifieds, and find a better job! Forget about making pennies -you should be making dollars, and lots of it! Stop thinking that minimum wage is the only way to go cuz that's bull-no pun intended!
	GEMINI (May 21-June 21) Did I see your name written on the bathroom wall? It said something like, "For a good time, call 555-1212." Wow, is that what people think of you? If so, you need to do an image makeover, baby! Take a break from the scene. Hang out with your family and start connecting with them. Be the good daughter-I mean son, that you started out to be!
	CANCER (June 22-July 22) You've got one of the most charming smiles I've ever seen. Every time people see it, they fall in love with you. Remember your best friend's boyfriend-Jose? You don't know this, but he was madly in love with you because of your smile. What do I think about all of this? Well, baby, if you got it, then flaunt it-cuz it's your key to a great spring fling!
	LEO (July 23-Aug. 23) Bitch! So what if you have an ugly nasty pimple that's about to pop on your face. You're still a fine chulo, and you're still worthy of a magazine cover! So stop hiding-at home, in the closet, or anywhere! Get out and show the world everything about you. If they can't handle it, "Screw them!"
	VIRGO (Aug. 24-Sept. 23) Alright, it's time to test your man to see just how committed he is to you! How? Well, tell him to tattoo your name on his arm. If he's willing to get it done, then look out, baby! Start planning the wedding invitations cuz I see a honeymoon coming your way!
	LIBRA (Sept. 24-oct. 22) Yum! Baby, what did you do to yourself? Look at those muscles! And your chest! Hmmmm! There's nothing like a fine Latino, who's sexy, strong and who won't take sh*t from anyone! So look out Eminem! Here's a strong Latino, who's QV and who's not afraid to kick your ass!
	SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) I can't believe how much TV you watch! Not only were you watching while they killed a pig on Survivor, you were actually eating a ham sandwich at the same time-that's gross! So stop being a couch potato and start hanging out with those things we call human beings! Turn off the set, put some clothes on, get out of the house, and put some life into your life-again!
	SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) What's this? You say you're badder than Puff Daddy? And is this something to be proud of? I say, "No!" because...instead of using guns as a weapon, you should use your powerful mind. So go back to school and see what education can do for you! Being a fine knowledgeable man is the only way to go!
	CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Chulo, why are you and your friends such dogs? Can't you just meet a guy and not play him for once? You've got to treat men better and get to know them first so that when you're out at night, in a club, people won't be saying, "Who let the dogs out!"
	AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Papi, go to the store now and buy ten lottery tickets! Do it! Do it! Do it! I feel like you're going to win some big money! Oh boy! Just think what you can buy, not for yourself, but for me! But just remember that if you don't win, my love is always here for you, and it don't cost a thing! And that's worth more than any million dollar prize, que no?
	PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) It's nice to see cash coming your way, especially since you worked really hard for it! The first thing you need to do is pay off your credit cards and your student loans. Then, and you'll like this, buy yourself a new car! You deserve it baby, and with your success, just remember to share your it with others as it's better to give than to receive-I mean with money, that is!