The qvPapi Is In!
Time flies by so fast! It's hard to believe that
I've been here for three years now, and I really enjoy talking
to you! I really like it when I hear about the improvements you've
made with your lives and to see how strong you've become. If
there's anything else on your mind, e-mail me at DearPapi@qvMagazine.com.
Dear Papi,
I just realized that I really don't have any true friends. All
the friends I have now are flakes. Every time we go out and meet
people, they always say stuff about me or tell everyone my secrets.
Sometimes, I won't call them for weeks to let things calm down,
but whenever I make an attempt to hang out with them again, they
come back and bite me harder in the ass. I would like to meet
new people, but I am too shy and work too much-so I stay home.
Anyway, I hope you read this. It would show that, at least, some
QV people care. Yours truly, East LA.
Dear East LA,
It
seems to me those people you call friends are not really your
friends, especially if they are talking about you and causing
you stress. What you need to do is surround yourself with new
people now-people who will support you and not hurt you in any
way. There's a world full of good people and good friends, but
you just have to find them. I know you mentioned you are shy,
but take a risk, go out, meet someone, and put yourself in a
better position because you deserve, not to have friends who
will hurt you, but to have friends who will respect you and nourish
your soul-as that's what friends are for! Good luck, mijo!
Dear Papi,
I don't like
"The Jerry Springer" show. I like the advice he gives
at the end of the show, but I don't like the way he shows QV
people. Why does he have to show the weird ones?
Dear Friend,
Unfortunately,
for higher ratings, TV shows like "Jerry Springer"
strive on showing the most outrageous behavior, and it's not
just in QV people, but in bisexual and even straight people,
too. Unfortunately, for QV people, this is one of the few times
where we get national exposure, and to focus on a few outrageously
QV ones really paints a distorted view of what QV people are
really like, especially to the straight community. Granted, things
are getting better as we are seeing more positive portrayals
of QV people such as the guys in "Will and Grace"
and "Los Beltran." With this in mind, keep optimistic
because there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Dear Papi,
I wanted to
thank you for your advice when I wrote to you the last time (see
qv13 "Success")! I finally came out to my little cousin
Oscar and other family members last month-telling them that I
am QV. I was surprised that Oscar accepted me. At first, he
was awkward around me, but after a few days, he was back to his
normal self. My other family members accepted me as well. I feel
that Oscar and I have a closer relationship now, and he said
that me being QV doesn't change how he thinks of me. He loves
me for me, and for who I am. -R.C.
Dear R.C.,
Thanks for writing
to me about your improvements. I'm glad to hear that things are
going well for you. Just keep on telling yourself you are fine
just the way you are, and continue to live a happy productive
life. Of course, you'll face more decisions of coming out to
others, but simply let it be a choice for you. Don't let coming
out affect your self-esteem, and don't let the silence of not
coming out, negatively affect you as well. Be at peace with yourself.
So good luck with your life, and whatever you do, be strong,
confident, and be proud of who you are.
Dear Papi,
I am a 23
year old Latino man. I have been out of a relationship for
about six months now, and I feel I need to get serious with someone.
I'm a very sweet and romantic guy, but it seems to me that most
men don't want that, anymore. They want a "thug" type
of a man. When I act like a thug and a bad ass, I get all the
attention in the world, but when I'm myself, which is very masculine
and discreet, guys just look at me, say hello, and so on. Why
is it that men don't like the good guys, and they constantly
go after the bad asses? I don't want to feel like I have to be
something I'm not. -Signed Sweet "Thug"
Dear Sweet Thug,
I know
this is easier said than done, but be yourself. Show those guys
your true colors. I say this because although some people might
like a thug attitude, I can assure you that in the long run,
they would much rather be with a nice honest guy, who has a heart,
than with a thug, who's a jerk or a bad ass. And as the old saying
goes, "There is someone for everyone." and that includes
someone for sweet and romantic guys as you described yourself
to be. So let others see you for who you are-for your strengths,
your weaknesses, your fears, everything, etc. and not for some
unrealistic act that won't last and that doesn't represent who
you really are.
Write to Dear Papi! Send an e-mail to
dearpapi@qvmagazine.com.
Please address all letters to Dear Papi.
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