qv16 Dear Papi


The qvPapi Is In!
Time flies by so fast! It's hard to believe that I've been here for almost three years now, and I really enjoy talking to you! I really like it when I hear about the improvements you've made with your lives and to see how strong you've become. If there's anything else on your mind, or even if you're new to me, e-mail me at DearPapi@qvMagazine.com.


Dear Papi,

I have been struggling with my sexuality for the past two years. I have a high profile job working as a CEO, and I am very concerned that if I come out, I will lose my job or the respect of my staff. I know the importance of being truthful with myself, but I am terrified. What should I do?

Dear CEO,
It's important for you to understand your feelings and come out, not to anyone else, but to yourself first! What this means is that you must accept yourself fully-for everything that you are. Develop an inner confidence where you will now have a choice, not an obligation, to tell others about your sexual orientation. If you choose to come out at work, you will now have the confidence to do so and handle whatever may come about. If you choose not to come out at work, you will feel free, not terrified, to keep your sexuality to yourself. Accepting yourself doesn't mean telling everyone about your sexual orientation! It means having the confidence, a strong confidence, to come out, or having the inner peace not to. Good luck, work on your inner self, and keep staying at the top!

Dear Papi,
I'm a Latino, and I'm talking to this guy that I like. When we first met, I told him I was 18, and he told me he was 29. But recently, I told him the truth that I was really 17, and he was shocked. Then, he shocked me and told me he was really 37. I want to be with him, but I don't know what to do. He's older than what I expected.

Dear Mijo,
It seems like you both were shocked about each other's ages, but for different reasons. Your concern is that he is much older than you are-and his concern is that you are underage which makes this relationship illegal. What you first need to do is refrain from this relationship because it could get you into a lot of trouble with the law. The second thing you should do is that when you turn 18 and if you consider this relationship, then ask yourself, "Is age really important?" If the guy has a really good heart and if he treats you well, then age should not be factor in your relationship. Please, mijo, don't let your heart get you into any trouble. Respect yourself first by respecting the law.

Dear Papi,
My oldest nephew, who is about eight years old now, gives me the feeling that he is QV in the making. Just by looking at him and hearing him talk, I think back to when I was a little kid, and I say to myself that my nephew will be or is QV. If he is, I want to make sure that my sister knows that I'm there for her and her son. That way, I can be a positive role model in his life. But how do I tell her what I'm thinking-without her getting mad? -Love from a concerned uncle!

Dear Concerned Uncle,
Talking about one's sexuality is always a difficult issue to discuss, especially if you are trying to indicate to your sister that her son might be QV. But what you can do is lay a foundation for her. What this means is talk to your sister about your relationship with her. Compliment her by saying that it took a strong and kind-hearted person to be able to accept you as you are. Then tell her that you appreciate her understanding, and that you know she'll be there with open arms if anyone else were to come out to her. By doing this, you are paving the way for her. You are telling her that her support is very important, not just now and not just for you, but for anyone else who may come out to her-in the future.

 

Dear Papi,
I'm 13 years old, and I'm QV. I'm afraid to tell anyone because I'm afraid I'll get hurt-or just be made fun of. But I think I really should find somebody to tell. I really would like to find someone around my age who would like to talk to me. I try talking to people online, but everyone says I'm too young. What should I do?

Dear Mijo,
Talk to a counselor. You're at the tender age when you are discovering your sexuality, and you need to reach out to someone who understands what you are going through. A counselor is here to listen to you, to give you strength, and to help you understand your feelings. A counselor is here to help you build your self-esteem and to help you say, "I'm a fine man-just the way I am!" Remember your feelings are a special gift that you should be proud of-not ashamed of. Please look at the last page of qvMagazine for support groups like Bienestar, Jovenes In Action, or The Wall-Las Memorias. Or please call the Youth Hotline @ 1-888-843-4564. Simply tell them your age, tell them what you are feeling, and that you'd like to talk to a support counselor about your feelings. Be strong, mijo! Get some support and develop into a young man with great confidence and great self-acceptance!

 

Write to Dear Papi! Send an e-mail to dearpapi@qvmagazine.com. Please address all letters to Dear Papi.



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