The qvPapi Is In!
Dear Mijos! I've been busy writing to a lot of
you! It's good to read your feedback and the improvements you've
made with your lives. As always, I'm hear to help you out so
if you feel the need to ask me a question, e-mail me at DearPapi@qvMagazine.com.
Dear Papi,
I'm a 36 year old Latino and have a lover who is 27 years old.
The problem is that we fight about everything. He often tells
me that I'm ugly and that no one will want me at my age! We have
been together for over 10 years, and I do care for him, but he
makes me feel unwanted. What should I do? Lost in San Antonio
Dear Lost in San Antonio,
It
saddens me to hear that your boyfriend seems to want to put you
down instead of lifting you and your spirit up. Certainly, there
are moments of love, but I think you've fallen into a cycle.
What I mean is that you've been together for 10 years, and it's
far easier to stay with each other even though he verbally abuses
you, than it is to start over again with a new person. But what
you can do is talk to your man now! Tell him that you love him,
but under no circumstances will you ever be subjected to his
verbal abuse again. It's not fair to put you in this situation
so stand your ground, and if he continues to abuse you, leave
the relationship. You deserve someone who will treat you with
respect and dignity. If your current man is not the one to give
it to you, then find somebody else who will. Good luck!
Dear Papi,
I'm QV and
not ashamed of it, but the thing is-I don't like QV people or
the QV scene. I am out to my family and friends, and I don't
have a problem accepting myself. I have pride as a Latino, but
I'm just not attracted to the QV scene or those people, who
live their lives around it. My boyfriend and I broke up after
two years because he said I was too anti-QV. I like who I am
and I stand for what I believe in, but what do you think is going
on? I hear it over and over that, "How can a QV guy not
like QV folks?" What do you think?
Dear Mijo,
Ask yourself
why you dislike the QV scene and QV people. Is it because you
might perceive the QV scene as only being about sex? Is it because
you envision the QV scene by what is shown on T.V.? I think
a good solution for you is to be open to it. This doesn't mean
you have to be in it, but it means allowing yourself not to feel
hatred for it. Sometimes in our society, the QV scene is the
only support we get. It's a time where we can reach out to others
just like ourselves. It's the support system that many can't
find with their own families. Of course, you don't have to hang
out in the scene at all, but there will be times when you will
need to reach out to your peers, especially if you want to find
a partner! So be open to those who need this support system,
and who feel a need to be a part of it.
Dear Papi,
I am an older
Latino, a real Papi! I am one of the original Latinos who worked
with the Chicano Movement in L.A., and I wonder sometimes, "How
can I help young QV Chicanos who are coming out?" I know
that most of our families are so affected by our Catholic roots,
machismo, and homophobia. And I thank God I am not coming out
again. Is your role only to answer questions that have to do
with love affairs? Thank You Hermano! P.S. Feels good to be able
to talk to a bro!
Dear Real Papi,
Thank you
for writing to me. My role is to encourage self-esteem. My belief
is that every person has worth, but when you (generally speaking)
are QV, you are sometimes brought down so low that it seems
incredibly hard to rise again. My focus is to build motivation
in each person so that they can rise to a higher self-esteem.
I emphasize that no matter what a person's sexual orientation
is, that they are truly valuable and should always reinforce
that. If anything, I never encourage people to say, "Why
me?" Instead, I encourage them to stand up tall and say,
"Hey, I'm glad to be QV!" Of course, it starts with
the mind, and I encourage people to take control of it. I tell
people to feed it with positive messages, and make themselves
stronger. I emphasize that only you can make yourself stronger
and only you can lift yourself up to a higher self-esteem. I
believe there's so many opportunities to live a good life, and
I certainly believe that if a person starts with himself, then
he can achieve great success, whether it be mentally, emotionally,
spiritually or even financially.
Write to Dear Papi! Send an e-mail to
dearpapi@qvmagazine.com.
Please address all letters to Dear Papi.
<<Previous
Article<< | >>Next Article>>
qv15
Table of Contents | Main Menu
|
