qv12 Dear Papi

Welcome to the Sexuality Issue, mijos!
I am happy to be a part of your life, and I'm always here to help you in any way I can. If you have a question, even if it includes boy troubles, e-mail me at DearPapi@qvmagazine.com--and I'll give you some helpful advice to make your life a little bit easier! .

Dear Papi
I'm a white male, age 28, who is extremely attracted to Latin men. I love the language, the culture, the attitudes, and the energy of the Latin man, but I can't seem to find one who is ready to settle down. I am now seeing a guy who is 33, and he says that he is not ready for a relationship. We are very close, and I feel as if we are dating, but he calls us "just friends." Is this common? Can Latin men and Caucasian men really get together? -Sincerely, Confused Guerro

Dear Confused Guerro,
Both Latin and Caucasian men can certainly have a great relationship together. The important thing is to focus on seeing each other, focus on understanding and accepting both your cultural backgrounds, and focus on having fun together. Continue to make the relationship stronger and as time passes, there will be a moment where it will be too late for either of you to turn down a good relationship full of great memories. Good luck!


Dear Papi,
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We've been through so much, and recently, he told me that he didn't like the lifestyle he was living because it wasn't right always having to lie to everybody. And I agreed with him. Also, he said he didn't think he was QV and wanted to be with women. So we ended the relationship, but it really hurt me because I still love him. What should I do? -Hurt

Dear Hurt,
It seems like your ex-boyfriend needs time to accept who he really is. Of course, I'm surprised that he told you he might not be QV-after two years. But now that you know this information, you need to let him go and find a productive relationship where you know you will be wanted for you-and your gender. And one thing I want to emphasize, especially to your ex, is that just because you're QV, doesn't mean you have to live a lifestyle of lying-lying is not a good thing at all, no matter what your sexuality is. A better solution is to accept who you are and put yourself in a position where you don't have to lie about it. It may take time, but it will be worth it, and you will be able to live an honest and productive life, instead of one filled with lies.


Dear Papi,
I am 22 year old Latino who is so messed up in the mind that I don't know where to begin. I've tried everything to be straight like going to church and playing sports, but nothing helps. About a year ago, I came out to my parents, but they refused to believe I'm QV. At times, I'm really proud of who I am, but at other times, my parents make me feel so bad that I get into a frenzy and try to pick up on girls. Now, there's a girl in my life, and I like her, but not to the extent that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She has every quality that I've ever wanted in a guy, but she's not a guy. I've led her on, and I don't know what to do. It's always been like this, and I want it to stop, but I fear of being publicly humiliated for being QV. How do I tell this girl the truth without the truth getting out? And how can I make my parents understand and accept me as a Latino?

Dear Mijo,
Take things one step at a time. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are fine just the way you are. You have to accept yourself so that other people can accept you. You have to be in control of your life, and be a strong person. At first it may seem like being QV is tough, but once you accept your sexuality, things get better. You don't have to tell the girl you're QV. Just tell her she's a beautiful person, but you may not be the man for her and that you need to just be friends. Tell her now so you don't keep her waiting. Also, in terms of your parents, give them time to accept your sexuality-but don't allow them or anyone to make you feel bad about it. You have a productive life to live so be who you are, don't live a double life, and with those qualities that you admire in a women, find them in a man! Good luck, mijo!


Dear Papi,
I recently met a guy at a festival. He is beautiful and very well built. He is Puerto Rican and Mexicano. Es como un papi caido del cielo. The only thing is that I have a boyfriend. But my boyfriend is simple and doesn't look anything like this beautiful man. The question is, this man calls me 24-7 and my boyfriend of whom I love so much is feeling as if he's in the way. What should I do? -Chulo

Dear Chulo,
The question you have to ask yourself is, "Do I want to be with a new guy with great looks but of whom I have no past?" or "Do I want to stay with my current man, though simple, but of whom I have had a lot of memories with-and of whom I love?" To me, it's an easy decision to make because once looks go away or the once the excitement of seeing a good-looking guy is gone, the heart will remain, and it seems like you already have a man with a heart. So whatever you do, make a decision now, but don't make your current man feel uncomfortable or "feeling as if he's in the way" by you talking to another man-that's not fair to him.


Write to Dear Papi! Send an e-mail to dearpapi@qvmagazine.com. Please address all letters to Dear Papi.

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