qv11 Dear Papi

Welcome to the Pride Issue, mijos!
I am proud to be a part of your life, and I'm always here to help you in any way I can. If you have a question on your mind, write to me-even if your question includes boy troubles! I'll give you some helpful advice to make your life a little bit easier! E-mail me at: DearPapi@qvmagazine.com.

Dear Papi,
I have a dilemma. I met this vato, my carnal's friend. I became close friends with him after he became my roommate. Una vez, he asked me to give him a massage, which I did. Because I thought he was QV or bisexual, I started fondling his privates, and he didn't say no. The next morning, he was perturbed and said, "What happened last night is never going to happen again." Anyway, it has happened two more times, and as always, the next day he is perturbed. Each time, I'm always the one who says I'm sorry for last night. Now I'm confused. What should I do? I mean, what guy would let another guy massage him unless he is bisexual or QV, right?

Dear Mijo,
It seems like this guy is going through a sexual awareness stage. There's a part of him that wants to explore what might be a new sexual territory for him, yet there's another part that makes him feel guilty for doing so. If all along he has identified himself as a straight man, then the thought that he could be bisexual or even QV might be a bit scary for him to handle. If he is QV or bisexual, and if it's new to him, then he needs time to accept it-the same way you have accepted your sexuality. Then again, he might just feel guilty for messing around with his friend's friend. Whatever the case, the first thing you need to do is stop giving him those massages! If he asks you to give him one, tell him, "No," because you don't like the way he acts the next day. Stand your ground, and save your massages for someone who will appreciate them-now and tomorrow morning, too!


Dear Papi,
I'm a junior in high school, and I hang out with a lot of girls. A lot of the guys at football practice give me a hard time for that and call me a "fag"or make fun of my voice. This bothers me a lot and I feel alone. My ex-boyfriend went thru the same thing in high school, and he ended up dropping out, but I don't want to do that. So, Papi, please tell me what I should do? -Miguel

Dear Miguel,
You need to rise above those comments and build confidence within yourself so that you can look at this situation as petty. How? By telling yourself you are fine just the way you are. If you radiant this confidence, others will see that, and treat you appropriately. In time you will say, "Who cares if they make fun of me?" or if you ever respond to the football guys, you will say, "Yeah, maybe I do things you guys don't like, but I'm here to play football-I'm here as a team player." Just remember the minute you say, "Why me?" you lose-that mentality won't get you anywhere. Instead say, "I'm a strong person, and I can handle any situation with confidence." And that new mentality will lead you to great changes. In any case, it doesn't matter how you act, how you talk, or with whom you hang out with-be proud of who you are because only you can decide what will make you feel better.


Dear Papi,
Hey, there Papi. I need some help! My name is Eduardo, and I'm only 15 years old. I used to have a 24-year-old boyfriend until he broke up with me. I still love him and feel like telling him that, but he has a new boyfriend. He was the best lover I've ever had. Papi, what should I do?

Dear Mijo,
Papi understands you might have a wounded heart right now so take time to allow it to heal. Get your mind off of relationships by focusing on school, making new friends, playing sports, etc. Before you know it, you're heart will be healed and you'll be ready to start dating again, but start slowly. Your Papi believes it is okay to fall in love, but be patient, live day by day, and eventually the right guy will come along. On another note, I know you probably don't want to hear this, but in the US, it is illegal for men of your ex's age to be sexually involved with anyone under 18. That is why I'm very surprised that he entered into a relationship that could get him into a lot of trouble. No matter how mature, kind, or sweet you are, your Papi wants you to make the right decisions so that nobody gets into trouble. With this in mind, good luck, mijo, and make the best out of your teenage years because you're only a teen once!


Dear Papi ,
I was an unfertile Cubanito, who really didn't have anyone after me. Suddenly, as if by some funky Brujeria freak accident, I now have three guys after me-including one of my ex-boyfriends. They're all nice, and lately, I've been messing around with each one of them on separate nights. It's so hard to pick and I feel as if I can only take so much of this. Que hago? -Suddenly Fertile

Dear Suddenly Fertile,
As someone who is listening to you carefully, I'm hoping you are taking sex seriously and are having it safely. Of course, I would feel more comfortable if you allowed yourself to date just one man and be happy with him. If you can only take so much of this and if you have three guys after you, then simply let your heart decide which of them you want to be with. If your heart tells you it's none of them, then move on and let all three guys go. Of course, it's not fair to them to think "they're the one" and in this day and age, it might not be a good idea to mess around with multiple partners. Mijo, find one man who will bring you pleasure sexually, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. When you do, you will have found a gem!


Write to Dear Papi! Send an e-mail to dearpapi@qvmagazine.com. Please address all letters to Dear Papi.

AB Quintanilla

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