Welcome to the Pride Issue,
I am proud to be a part of your life,
and I'm always here to help you in any way I can. If you have
a question on your mind, write to me-even if your question includes
boy troubles! I'll give you some helpful advice to make your
life a little bit easier! E-mail me at: DearPapi@qvmagazine.com.
I have a dilemma. I met this vato, my carnal's
friend. I became close friends with him after he became my roommate.
Una vez, he asked me to give him a massage, which I did. Because
I thought he was QV or bisexual, I started fondling his privates,
and he didn't say no. The next morning, he was perturbed and
said, "What happened last night is never going to happen
again." Anyway, it has happened two more times, and as always,
the next day he is perturbed. Each time, I'm always the one who
says I'm sorry for last night. Now I'm confused. What should
I do? I mean, what guy would let another guy massage him unless
he is bisexual or QV, right?
It seems like
this guy is going through a sexual awareness stage. There's a
part of him that wants to explore what might be a new sexual
territory for him, yet there's another part that makes him feel
guilty for doing so. If all along he has identified himself as
a straight man, then the thought that he could be bisexual or
even QV might be a bit scary for him to handle. If he is QV
or bisexual, and if it's new to him, then he needs time to accept
it-the same way you have accepted your sexuality. Then again,
he might just feel guilty for messing around with his friend's
friend. Whatever the case, the first thing you need to do is
stop giving him those massages! If he asks you to give him one,
tell him, "No," because you don't like the way he acts
the next day. Stand your ground, and save your massages for someone
who will appreciate them-now and tomorrow morning, too!
I'm a junior in high school, and I hang out with
a lot of girls. A lot of the guys at football practice give me
a hard time for that and call me a "fag"or make fun
of my voice. This bothers me a lot and I feel alone. My ex-boyfriend
went thru the same thing in high school, and he ended up dropping
out, but I don't want to do that. So, Papi, please tell me what
I should do? -Miguel
You need to
rise above those comments and build confidence within yourself
so that you can look at this situation as petty. How? By telling
yourself you are fine just the way you are. If you radiant this
confidence, others will see that, and treat you appropriately.
In time you will say, "Who cares if they make fun of me?"
or if you ever respond to the football guys, you will say, "Yeah,
maybe I do things you guys don't like, but I'm here to play football-I'm
here as a team player." Just remember the minute you say,
"Why me?" you lose-that mentality won't get you anywhere.
Instead say, "I'm a strong person, and I can handle any
situation with confidence." And that new mentality will
lead you to great changes. In any case, it doesn't matter how
you act, how you talk, or with whom you hang out with-be proud
of who you are because only you can decide what will make you
Hey, there Papi. I need some help! My name is
Eduardo, and I'm only 15 years old. I used to have a 24-year-old
boyfriend until he broke up with me. I still love him and feel
like telling him that, but he has a new boyfriend. He was the
best lover I've ever had. Papi, what should I do?
you might have a wounded heart right now so take time to allow
it to heal. Get your mind off of relationships by focusing on
school, making new friends, playing sports, etc. Before you know
it, you're heart will be healed and you'll be ready to start
dating again, but start slowly. Your Papi believes it is okay
to fall in love, but be patient, live day by day, and eventually
the right guy will come along. On another note, I know you probably
don't want to hear this, but in the US, it is illegal for men
of your ex's age to be sexually involved with anyone under 18.
That is why I'm very surprised that he entered into a relationship
that could get him into a lot of trouble. No matter how mature,
kind, or sweet you are, your Papi wants you to make the right
decisions so that nobody gets into trouble. With this in mind,
good luck, mijo, and make the best out of your teenage years
because you're only a teen once!
Dear Papi ,
I was an unfertile Cubanito, who really didn't
have anyone after me. Suddenly, as if by some funky Brujeria
freak accident, I now have three guys after me-including one
of my ex-boyfriends. They're all nice, and lately, I've been
messing around with each one of them on separate nights. It's
so hard to pick and I feel as if I can only take so much of this.
Que hago? -Suddenly Fertile
Dear Suddenly Fertile,
someone who is listening to you carefully, I'm hoping you are
taking sex seriously and are having it safely. Of course, I would
feel more comfortable if you allowed yourself to date just one
man and be happy with him. If you can only take so much of this
and if you have three guys after you, then simply let your heart
decide which of them you want to be with. If your heart tells
you it's none of them, then move on and let all three guys go.
Of course, it's not fair to them to think "they're the one"
and in this day and age, it might not be a good idea to mess
around with multiple partners. Mijo, find one man who will bring
you pleasure sexually, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.
When you do, you will have found a gem!
Write to Dear Papi! Send an e-mail to
Please address all letters to Dear Papi.
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