Feature | Fall 1997

It's Only the Phone


"Hello? Who's this?"

"It's Mike! Who's this?"

"Tino. So wuz up?"

"Not much and you?"

"Kick'n it here. So what are you looking for?"

"Don't know yet. I think I might wanna hook up with someone! What about you?"

"Oh, I guess I'm looking for a few homies to hang out with."

"Well, I'm looking for a homeboy, too! You know what I mean?"

­I think for a moment and wonder if he's looking for more than just someone to hang out with.

"Are you still there? I'd really like to meet you tonight. Why don't you give me your digits, ese?"

­Damn! I have to say that this conversation isn't going the way I had intended. Let me try again. -I press #1 to go to the next person.

"What's up?"

"Who's this?"

"Tino, and who are you?"

"Shyboy," he says, in a quiet voice.

"So what you doing on the line, and what are you looking for?"

"Just some homeboy to kick it with. No pressure."

"That's cool. Same here." I reply, surprised!

"So kick it with your #'s, holmes."

"555-1436. Call me, alright?"

"Aiight, lates." He hangs up.

­ I decide to press #1 one last time so I can talk to one more guy before I call it a night.

"Hey, who's this?" I say.

"Cisco, and you?"

"Tino. So what's up?"

"Nada. Just looking for someone to talk to or chill out with."

"That's cool. Sounds like me."

"Yeah.?" he says,"So are you a down vato or what?"

"Me!? I would say I dress rebel style. What about you? Are you cholo?"

"No way, man!" he shouts. "I'm down for my raza but that just ain't me."

­Whew, that was a good call! I think I better stop while I'm ahead!

I never thought that I would be using the telephone to try to meet someone, but there I was. As I began to write about the three different encounters that I have described, I tried to figure out exactly what the partyline was all about. I asked myself if there were ways to weed out los cabrones from the ones that were truly looking for a friendship or a long-term relationship. After much thought, I came to the conclusion that there are three main categories that most partyline callers fall under: the horny boy, the mentiroso, and the guy with nowhere to turn.

The horny boy is a guy whose main objective is to get a "quickie" or maybe phone sex. Be careful with these guys because you never know just how many other guys they've been with. Should you hook up and mess around with a guy like this, just realize that it's a small world and that you'll, most likely, run into him again someday - so be prepared.

The second category is the mentiroso. Unlike the horny boy, this person may not necessarily be looking for just a quick hook-up, but nonetheless, over the phone, he will often lie about his physical appearance in order to grab your attention. Once you actually meet in person, he's totally the opposite of what you've envisioned in your mind. When dealing with this type of person, you should usually add about twenty to thirty pounds to his weight, and shave an inch off his height, so you won't be surprised.

That brings us to catergory number three: the guy with nowhere to turn. Now, this is my favorite. This person is new to the scene, and may not tell you his real name (among other things about himself) only because he's still in the closet. But often times, you two will still have a great conversation. Don't expect anything such as a long-term relationship with him, unless he wants to hook up as friends. Once you meet in person and the physical aspects have been put aside, you may then have something you can build on. That is, you can figure out if this is a friendship or a potential relationship. In fact, I met my best friend this way. Before we met, neither one of us knew about QV clubs or parties, and we both felt like we were the only QV guys out there. One day we met on the partyline and just told each other that we were looking for friends -that was nearly six years ago and we've been friends ever since.

Of course, there are many other types of categories that guys fall under, but I have covered the three biggest categories I've encountered. Oh! Just a word of precaution: Watch out for those foolios who call because they are bored, budded out, or tweaking and looking for someone to harrass. Also, look out for QV bashers who call to give other guys a hard time, but who turn out to be "closet case" QV guys themselves.

So there you have it! If you follow some simple precautions and are aware of the different types of guys who call in, you, too, can enjoy it for what it is. Just don't expect to find the man of your dreams. - 'cause it's all for fun. It's only a partyline. Understand!!!

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