Dear Papi,
I am a 23 year old Latino. I have not felt like myself in nearly two years. Everything I know has been pulled out from under me. I have been distancing myself from my family and friends. I don't feel as if they care for me too much. I can't even talk to my only other QV friend because his boyfriend hates me. I find it very hard to talk to people so I haven't made any new QV friends, and plus, I am always afraid they will hurt me. I am tired of being alone and scared. No matter what I do, my low self-esteem gets the worst of me, and I give up and crawl into bed. This has hurt me both emotionally and physically. What should I do? Who can I turn to? -Tired of being me!

I'm concerned for your well-being as I think you need to get some support now! Look in the phone book, search the internet, or look in the back of qvMagazine for QV support groups in your area. Call them up and tell them what you've been feeling lately. Tell them you are feeling a bit down, and that you're tired of being alone and scared. You can mention that you want to meet new people, but that you are afraid. Open your heart because they are there to help you. Just remember that you are not alone, especially as a Latino. There are a lot of people out there who are willing to give you support, but you have to make the first move. It will get easier from that point because you will start to see life in a positive way. Mijo, you owe it to yourself to live a happy life-and it can be a reality if you start within yourself! Be strong, be positive, and make that call, mijo!


Dear Papi,
My friend and I met this wonderful guy who is entering a Mr. Latino competition. I want my friend to come with me to see this guy compete, but my friend is in a wheelchair and I am afraid that it would be hard for him to navigate in the club. The club is very small, and it gets packed. What should I tell him? -Lino

Dear Lino,
Talk to your friend and be honest with him. Let him know you really want him to go with you, yet you are concerned that it might be hard for him to navigate. If your friend still says he still wants to go, then be there for him. Take the opportunity to show him a good time and be accommodating to him. Remember that you have many opportunities to go out, so extend this opportunity to him and be a friend If he wants to go, take him out and help him have a night to remember. That's what friends are for!


Dear Papi,
My problem is that I met this guy online-in a M4M chatroom, and I've been talking to him for about six months now. Once, we fooled around. Recently, he told me he has a girlfriend and that he's straight. Now, he talks about his girlfriend a lot, and I can tell he really likes her. When I asked him why he was in a M4M room, he said he was curious-at the time. What should I do? I think I'm falling for him. -Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
I know you don't want to hear this, but it's time to move on! Mijo, you might feel hurt now, but I'd rather you hurt now, than hurt along the way as you wait for a guy who may never be there for you. Whether this guy is straight, QV, or bisexual, he is making it clear that he has somebody else so you need to take control of your own life. Don't let him make you hold onto him. Go out, meet new people, find a new man. And when you do, make certain that he will be there for you-and only you! Good luck, mijo!


Dear Papi,
I recently was elected to a seat on the local board of education in my community after I beat five other candidates, including two incumbents. I also work as a news reporter. I am a 23 year old Latino-educated, decent looking and with a good personality. It seems as if my life is in high swing, correct? But not necessarily. I'm QV and it's been hard to go out and meet anyone because I'm afraid it might hurt my career on a highly conservative school board, not to mention my political career. Can you imagine the uproar of parents and community members if they found out I was QV? Remember, I live in a very conservative community. What kind of advice can you give me on my situation? Thank you very much! -Mr. News Reporter

Dear News Reporter,
It's easy to see that your career is very important to you so continue to progress with it and continue to earn the success that you are earning. But just as important, if not more, is your health and your development as a human being. It's unfortunate that society seems to judge people based on their sexual orientation, but what you have to do first is feel comfortable with yourself. Allow yourself to not live with that sense of fear that someone is going to find out about you! Life is too short to put yourself in that negative atmosphere! The goal is to replace that fear with an inner peace that reminds you that it's okay to be QV and that if anything, it's now your choice to let people find out about you-or not! If someone finds out about you in your town and causes an uproar, it's not the end of the world as you can either open their minds and "fight" the battle, or simply take you and your career to another city!

Write to Dear Papi! Send an e-mail to Please address all letters to Dear Papi.

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